I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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