I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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