Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
