brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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