I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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