dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
