and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
