I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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