Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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