The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
