Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
