You were right. It hurts to walk today.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
