i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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