you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Randomize
