i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
