I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
