the new term for farting is butt boxing.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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