No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
