if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
