Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
