Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
