so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
