Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
