those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
