I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
