I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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