okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize