I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
