you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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