I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
