I'm drive I can fine osifer
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
