Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Holy sore nipples Batman
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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