You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
