He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Never underestimate the power of titties
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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