i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
