Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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