Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
