I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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