Christians are straight up FREAKS
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
