You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
