Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
