Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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