how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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