I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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