I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
