girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
