I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
