why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
