I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
