Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
