Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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