I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
