And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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