I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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