he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize