I have demons in me.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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