I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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