oh god the rape fog is back!
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
