Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize